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Came across another post calling BDSM an abusive “method of normalizing male violence against women”.


It’s like they are not even aware that BDSM includes male violence over men, female violence over women, female violence over men, non-binary violence over men, female violence over non-binary individuals, and the list goes off into infinity.

They draw conclusions from the supposed “BDSM porn” out there, that is little more than misogynistic thinly-veiled rape fantasies catering to the average 30-something year old guy in a mildly unsatisfying marriage, and believe this somehow represents a community and a set of practices they know nothing about. Nope. This is not BDSM. At all.

I worry for people that cannot differentiate between consensual hurt with the purpose of eliciting pleasure in both parties, that is a free, mutually empowering decision, and actual harm.

Just because BDSM has been used as a justification for misogyny by abusive individuals, that does not make BDSM inherently abusive. That simply makes these individuals dangerous, manipulative asswipes that should be kept away from other people at all costs.

Actually, if anything, women “annulling” a woman’s “feminism card” -as if she needs anyone’s validation of her sexual appetites as “permissible” to be “allowed” to have a certain set of beliefs on gender- and shaming healthy desires and fantasies is quite a feat of internalized misogyny.

Women will crave whatever the fuck they want to crave.


The truth. Very well said. 

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